CONFESSIONS

it's now my time to shine. Now i don't have to make sucrifices, now i dont have to settle for the one i love... Now i can't love. Now i can finally do my thing, use people to my own benefit... Make them do what i want while i do what i like. Oups...doesn't work so good. Does it?
I already fucked up twice since i've been that girl. The truth is I don't wanna be that girl... The truth is i am scared. I'm afraid that as long as I am without him that's who I'm gonna be. That's all i CAN be...
The truth is I wish to find somewhere someday somebody to make me feel as I did with him... Right now it feels like i never will. Right now i am not ready and all i wanna do is avoid that.

It's funny how many different people you can be in the same time. To him i'm the victim. To all the guys after...i'm the immature cruel and heartless bitch. To some i m a horny slut. To some others i m nothing but a loner. To you i'm depressed. To my friends I'm the allways and forever happy clown.

Not anyone not anything can get me down. I do know what i want and i will not settle for less. Now... it's about time i learned how to lie to everybody so that i can enjoy sex without having to be ''engaged''. Why? Coz nobody is good enough to have me 100%, coz i'm not ready to swim in deep water again, coz i do like sex, coz now i know that experience makes people realise what they really want and go for it! And why hide about it? Coz as long as what happens in bed stays in bed noone can ever call you a slut, and what nobody knows is not a considerable fact ;-).

LETTERS TO YOU

Of course I' mad at you...

         I' m mad for all those lies you keep telling me for no reason, while i give you all the truth i have in me.
I'm mad you chose to be touched by another one while you could have me. I'm mad you never wanted me as much as I did, well it was YOU who made me want you as much as I did, and I'm mad at you for that too!
I was craving for some truth...now after two years I can know for sure I'll never get it...and it breaks my heart. I am so freakin mad at you that sometimes i feel the urge to hurt you so bad...and I really can. You must know that I can... But my love is bigger than that. In the end all I want is you to be happy. But i cant stand the fact that you mean the world to me and to you... I'm nothing... I don't feel like crying, I don't feel hurt, I feel betrayed! I feel dissapointed, now i know it's allways gonna be lies lies lies... It is about time i must quit trying to be your friend... You have since the first day you slept with me. It took me quite a long time to realise it, but now I know... And i must learn how to live with that! I tell you I'm gonna cope just fine.. Don't you worry about me!
  And please don't fool yourself that you know me just coz i talk a lot...
Did you know that when i was walking around showing off that i don't believe in falling in love I was madly, head over hills, with all my heart in love with you? Did you know that I've been in love with you since day one up until now?Did you know I had never felt this way before and I doupt if i ever will again? Did you know that i have the strength to know that i ll never touch you again (coz your chances are sincerely over) and not cry about it? Did you know i don't cry any more? Did you know I am willing to spend as long as it takes loving you, not having you and still be happy? Did you know you suck so much that i dont want you any more by my side but all my feelings are still there? Did you even know this thing can happen?(i didn't)
   No i have never lied to you... It's just when i talk about my feeling they never come out as they really are. And now I'm glad they dont! Yes you have killed all my will to be with you. Yes if you didn't make that choise i would. Yes you made it... you made me feel better without you rather than with you. And sometimes the fact it doesn't hurt any more hurts the most! Why did you kill all that good i had inside me? What have you done to that person i admired? Why are you turning into something i detest? Why do i still love that pathetic guy you are turning into? How can i be in love with someone i really don't want? Why do you lie to me if you love me?
 
I love you i will love you i ll be there for you. I want to quit trying to be your friend. I dont know if i ll make it. But one thing is for sure! You are never gonna touch me again...not in this life!! Go mess around with all the stupid chicks around.... do what i made you miss (in your mind). If you really want it go ahead... and if it really fills you up... i ll be happy for you!!! It won't.!! It is not you... and if it is...you are not the person i loved!!!

    P.S. : How i wish you would have had some life experience before you met me so that we could be on                    the same page. So that you would know what you want. So that you would be more mature about it.

P.P.S. : Congrats, you fucked us up! Hope you're proud!

walk away - kelly clarkson

dedicated tou you....

"Walk Away"

You've got your mother and your brother
Every other undercover
Tellin' you what to say (say)
You think I'm stupid
But the truth is
That it's cupid, baby
Lovin' you has made me this way
So before you point your finger
Get your hands off of my trigger
Oh yeah
You need to know this situation's getting old
And now the more you talk
The less I can take, oh

I'm looking for attention
Not another question
Should you stay or should you go?
Well, if you don't have the answer
Why are you still standin' here?
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Just walk away
Just walk away
Just walk away

I waited here for you
Like a kid waiting after school
So tell me how come you never showed (showed)?
I gave you everything
And never asked for anything
And look at me
I'm all alone (alone)
So, before you start defendin'
Baby, stop all your pretendin'
I know you know I know
So what's the point in being slow
Let's get the show on the road today
Hey

I'm looking for attention
Not another question
Should you stay or should you go?
Well, if you don't have the answer
Why are you still standin' here?
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Just walk away
Just walk away
Just walk away

I wanna love
I want a fire
To feel the burn
My desires
I wanna man by my side
Not a boy who runs and hides
Are you gonna fight for me?
Die for me?
Live and breathe for me?
Do you care for me?
'Cause if you don't then just leave

I'm looking for attention
Not another question
Should you stay or should you go?
Well, if you don't have the answer
Why are you still standin' here?
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Just walk away

If you don't have the answer
Walk away
Just walk (walk) away
(Just walk away)
Then just leave
Yeah yeah
Walk away
Walk away
Walk away